Wanted - Movie Review

My dear friend Lucy and I recently watched Wanted via Movies On Demand. We chose this flick because James McAvoy is a babe and we wanted to look at him for a long time. His performance in The Last King of Scotland set the standard for what I expect from him as an actor and as eye candy. Since then, I’ve been let down.

I suspected the movie was going to be rough the moment I heard McAvoy’s “American” accent. My suspicions were confirmed as a terrible modern rock song was introduced to the soundtrack. It was like Creed meets even more throaty and desperate. I did enjoy repeating aloud the line “curve the bullet” throughout the movie. That made me laugh. But what made me sad was that Morgan Freeman agreed to be in the film. Why Morgan? Why did you do that? Are you that hard up? Is the economy that bad? I’ll still always think of you as Red in The Shawshank Redemption or as God in Bruce Almighty. Stay gold, Morgan.

I get why the others did it. James McAvoy is still making a name for himself and has to kill the competition for such roles, so he put on his Tobey Maguire pants and appeared sweaty and drooly for two hours. Look out Shia LaBeouf because McAvoy is awesome at panicking. But James, I really like you better as a hot faun or a hot Scot. We know Angelina did it for the paycheck. With all those mouths to feed, she’s got an eternal excuse for taking shitty roles. Angie must really be sacrificing for her kids because it didn’t look like she’d eaten in quite some time. Maybe the Octomom should take up acting, pay them bills, and feed them babies. Obviously you don’t have to be talented to land a big role or even win an Oscar…better yet two Oscars. Yes, Sean Penn, I’m talking to you. Overall Wanted was a real stinker. Turn on the exhaust fan and get the Glade® PlugIns®, this movie gets 5 Turds for a Royal Flush. (insert graphic of 5 poopies on playing cards)